NOTICE, READ THIS IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT- The Conducting Director of BOMBAYWALLA HISTORICAL WORKS has lately settled in Bombay, wishing to reduce her travels or give them up altogether, and purposes to proceed with the expansion of her business, on terms which she trusts will meet the views of her Constituents and others.
MISS BOMBAYWALLA confirms she has deferred her passage on the Bengal which leaves our harbor this day at 9 a. m. for China- calling at Galle, Madras, Calcutta- after discovering that the new generation of Bengalees- YOUNG BENGAL, as they are collectively called- had discredited her as “wanting to be famous yesterday”.
She will contain her movements within central Bombay, going from Tardeo Road to Café de la Paix, avoiding the cafes of the FORT, where café proprietors promise pistachio ice-cream in the ice-cream room but are caught running away with European performers from the McCOLLUM’S CIRCUS instead!
On FRIDAY the 27th March MISS BOMBAYWALLA discovered that the public has been supplied with SPURIOUS IMITATIONS of her in the living photographic picture MASKA, which in the three or more instances of hairstyle, dress and occupation closely resemble her genuine self but in matters of purse, pronunciation and liaisons with men at 5 a.m., bears no resemblance to her honourable character.
MISS BOMBAYWALLA further gives notice that she will proceed against any one who may infringe upon her rights either by imitation, enticement or curtailment of her creative freedoms.
Tardeo Road, 14th April, 2020.
THE DIRECTORS of BOMBAYWALLA HISTORICAL WORKS have much pleasure in informing the distinguished gentry of Bombay that their company will shortly commence business as TOUR OPERATORS of the principal buildings of the Island.
The tours will be the best procurable in Bombay, and no pains are being spared to secure exclusive access to the buildings, the appearances of well-known artists and refreshments of the finest selection.
Ladies and Gentlemen should be careful not to equate our enterprise with touring companies such as McCOLLUM'S CIRCUS and MR. and MISS GRATTAN'S THEATRICAL GROUP, that solicit the favour of the Shethias of Bombay to patronise their grand spectacles.
MISS BOMBAYWALLA begs to inform her consituents that unlike MISS EMMA GRATTAN, who has made a tour of the United States and South America, and moreover lately been to China, she has given up altogether her travels to Great Britain, no longer having to call at Dubai where she was routinely chased by a gang of Moplas intent on knocking her down with a stick.
THE DIRECTORS guarantee that MISS BOMBAYWALLA is well-equipped to conduct the tours, having diffused knowledge through the medium of her BLOG and DPhil DISSERTATION over the last four years and having lately been instructed by them in the new musical sounds of jazz, literary works in the Marathee and Guzaratee languages, the principles of design and the fashion of wearing longcloth shirt with a scarf!
